Friday, August 23, 2013

My latest conundrum

     A year ago at this time I wandered into Walmart with way not enough coffee in me, that was bad to start with. It was the beginning of the school year and kids were leading the whiny charge through the store with their parent(s) stumbling around behind them. I lost count of how many girls I saw  in pajama bottoms, with the top rolled down to show off their thong (ugh) and a cell phone plastered to their ears as they ranted and raved through the store, with at least 2 kids in the cart. By the time my son and I escaped I really wanted to do great bodily harm to a few of these paragons of virtue. (Two phone calls were a discussion of a sex act in detail with kids in tow) On the way home, my son & I got into a discussion about an old administrator at one of the many schools he attended. (we were military) and from that came the idea for a story involving a school shooting. Carried out by a school official.
      Yes, I killed off 97 people in the first chapter (I needed more coffee, remember.) but the biggest share of the story was based around how a broken family becomes more broken and has to come together for the sake of their 2 daughters, 1 was injured, severely, and the other escaped. The dynamic of the family trying to not be in crisis, trying to be there for some close friends, trying to be all for everyone and being very fragile while trying to put on a bad ass front is real for so many families for various reasons. It's full of twists and turns and the night I finished it, at near 4 a.m., I passed my son in the hall, he gave me a high five and I staggered off to beddie-bye. The next morning was like any other--almost. I record Good Morning America because my morning rarely begins before 10, I hit the button and leaned back in my favorite chair, my coffee appeared with the warning it was really full (good to know) and I watched as Sandy Hook unfolded. It was also the same date I had set for my story...I immediately changed that aspect.
         For almost a year I have sat on the story, until my daughter called and asked if I had any stories she could read. So I sent it to her. We have a unique relationship- she is quite comfortable telling me when something stinks and why she feels that way- which is why I trust her, she sent a text at the half way point and said she thought it was the best yet, so I sent it off to my other readers to see what they thought...they all said it was top notch and I needed to pitch it.
     I just sent it for edits, with the paranormal erotica series, it was what it was and I didn't apologize for that at all, if you were going to be offended, don't read it. I really haven't worried too much about any of the others...putting this one out there has me questioning several things. I know first hand what it's like to lose a child, I wouldn't wish that one on anyone. As a reader, you do know when a book strikes you and drags you in and you become invested in the characters- that its a good thing. As a writer, you strive for that...obviously I'm still struggling with this. Do I keep it in a box in my desk or do I put it out there? I'm not sure yet. My brain is also muddled by a nasty cold, and I'm not making much sense of anything right now. Cough, sore throat, yuk...the same ol' stuff going around and the weird weather isn't helping any.
   Input always welcome, especially if ya have a good cough remedy, I can't do the over the counter stuff with the heart/lung damage.


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