Monday, July 23, 2012

Well, Now I'm Mad

I often get mad, not literally mad, not insane mad, although I suspect there have been moments when I've been close.  More often, it's that something has annoyed me beyond the point of civility.  I'm trying not to display this madness to other people, which means that even when dealing with any outsourced representative over the phone, after repeating, I can't understand you five or six times, I ask to speak to their supervisor, who usually turns out to be someone I can't understand either.  I excuse myself and sit and count to ten and then a hundred.  I don't hang up because that would only add to the madness.

Another area that brings on this madness is the computer.  When I can't get on to do my blog and I have to call my grand daughter who patiently talks me through it, I feel, what's the word, oh yeah, pissed off, all in capital letters.  When I can no longer thread a needle without a magnifying glass, a big one, I feel the madness creeping toward me.

So what has this to do with writing?  Not a damn thing, really, or does it?  How many of us have done battle with our characters who simply won't co-operate and do what we want.  Sometimes you just have to give in to them, even if in your heart, you know they're wrong, but many times, they're not.  They're showing you who they are, what their values are, how they would react to this situation.  And that's when I discover that madness has to give way to the heart of the character.  They surprise you sometimes, with the depth of their character, when you were trying to make them too shallow, or they show you their humor, when you're determined this scene should be heavily dramatic.  So as time has gone by, and much of it has, I've learned to trust my characters more.  After all they're the ones out there dodging bullets, fighting off would be rapists, outwitting bad guys and being loyal to their guy beyond all reason.

Becoming entangled with stubborn, hard-headed people who are so intent on having their own story told their way can be fun.  It makes me not want to take a bathroom break or to talk to my husband when he's just invited me down to the local eatery for a sandwich (which means I don't have to stop and cook), but to have to stop at all is hard.  These are real people who just take over my life.  Is that madness of a different sort?. 

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