So here's the first installment!
Yahoo Personals Brings Out the Real Yahoos!
I posted my first online personal ad well over 15 years ago. Wow! I was totally excited that there were now places that allowed you to post an online personal ad for free! Free being the optional word. I posted a cute little write-up and one of my best photos. Imagine my delight when actual men started replying to my ad.
Bachelor number One. For anonymity’s sake, we’ll call him John. John looked good on paper. Then again, they all pretty much do. He had a decent photo. The occupation he had listed was nice too. I met up with John at a restaurant in the Easttown area of Grand Rapids. John wasn’t a bad guy. He was friendly. He had a bit of stuttering problem. Maybe he was just nervous. I don’t know. However, when it came to pay the bill, John admitted he had no money to pay for his meal. Sure his bill was less than five dollars, but still! I was pretty much put off by the whole situation.
The next day John calls me. Here’s pretty much how the conversation went:
JOHN: I...s...s Si...d...d...n...n...ey th...th..th...ere?
(I guess the stuttering wasn’t a nervous thing after all.)
ME: This is her.
JOHN: Hi. I h...had a g..g..ood time with y..ou y…y…est…er..d…day a…a..nd w…w..an...ted to a..a..sk y…y…ou s..s..ome…th…thing.
JOHN: Wh...wh...en c…c…an w…w…e h...h…h...ave s…s…sex?
SERIOUSLY??? We had one date where I was forced to pay your bill and you think I want to have sex with you? Who do you think you are, the American Gigolo? Those were the thoughts (among others that are too inappropriate to say here) swirling in my head. I can’t believe I managed not to go off on this guy. I politely said I wasn’t that type of girl and didn’t think we’d work out. John then said if I changed my mind, I could call him. I think I permanently burned his number from my brain.
NOTE: Had this guy not so blatantly asked me to have sex with him and just asked me out on a second date, I might have given him a second shot. As I mentioned earlier, he seemed nice and friendly. But apparently beneath his quiet and friendly facade, was a real freak. I do wish him success in his quest for sex.