Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Hooray! I did it!

I have a two year old grand daughter who takes such delight in
each new thing she masters. She always throws up her hands and cries
"I did it!" Her face is sufficed with absolute joy in her
accomplishment. I love two year olds. They are so wise and funny for
their age.

Today, I did it! I remembered to Blog on my assigned day and I
managed to get to the right place to do it. No small accomplishment
for me, born way beyond the cyber age. So I'm feeling that same joy
and sense of accomplishment.

The place I don't always allow myself to feel that
accomplishment is with my writing. Many of us are like that. We
wouldn't dream of saying to a sister writer the things we say to
ourselves. Yet, by our very negatism towards our own work, we throw
up mental road blocks, emotional swamps in which we drown our
creativity. Eventually, by not acknowledging, by not celebrating our
accomplishes, no matter how small, we manage to shut ourselves down
completely. Writer's block! I've done that, big time, most recently
on the last book I finished. No throwing up my hands in exaltation
and exclaiming I did it!! No joy, no smiles and happiness. Instead I
thought, rather morosely, at last I finished the damn thing.
Certainly no sense of accomplishment, no urge to leap into another
book. No excitement, no anticipation.

I used to have that when I first started writing, but somewhere I
let it slip away. I needed constant publication and big checks to
feel validated, because I couldn't give it to myself. How wise a
little two year old who knows to value herself and to her mother who
taught her..

My resolve is to emulate my adorable grand daughter and pat
myself on the back, often. I'm going to forget false modesty I was
taught as a child. I'll cling to the sheer joy of what I can do,
which is put together words in a way that entertains the reader. In
doing that I pass along the joy! So today, I'm saying, I did it and
I'll do it again tomorrow. That should get me through Nano and

Maybe I've gone through this bad time and crossed into a polly-
anna,petunia patch of color and light and grand accomplishment, but I
know it's only momentary. But I'm starting to know how to get beyond
those bad moments. First of all, I'm going to throw my hands in the
air and exclaim with absolute conviction. I did it!!!

By Peggy Hanchar


Andrea Dickinson said...

I love this post. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the 'little' successes along the way, Peg.

Having completed several manuscripts, I forget what an awesome accomplishment that is. How many people I meet who say they always wanted to write a book, and will probably never do it.

Bronwyn Green said...

Awesome post, Peg. And often I'm just relieved the book is finished, I don't remember to enjoy that feeling.